I told you: I’m not single

I told you this before: I’m not single. I wouldn’t wear a t-shirt saying that though because I wouldn’t want to confuse any potential suitors.  Or would I?

My cousin has a love waits ring.  She is a teenager. Would it be weird for a 34 year old woman to get one?  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here is an example:

I mean, it’s pretty right?  Maybe instead of wearing it on my wedding ring finger I could wear it on my middle finger.  Then if a guy who isn’t Christian asks me out, I can flip him off using that finger and say, “Clearly you don’t read my blog!”


The original Comedy Central logo used from Jun...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Anyhow, for real, I feel like by the time I’m this age I should be allowed to wear a diamond ring on my finger.  I also agree with Tracy Smith.  I watched her on Comedy Central the other day and she mentioned that she thought that women over 30-something should be allowed to have a shower where they get all kinds of new stuff for their kitchen.  Right about now I could totally use the following (from Bed Bath and Beyond, please):

  • new pots and pans (preferably stainless steel)
  • a Dyson (so I can return it and get a bunch of gift cards)
  • new twin sized sheets (since I sleep alone – just kidding I need full sized sheets because I’m plus sized and sleep alone)
  • new cookie sheets (because I eat a lot of cookies since I have no one to tell me not to)
  • food storage containers (I prefer glass because I don’t like BPA and neither does my thyroid cancer)
  • a Scooba (Roomba is getting lonely, just like me – and the kitchen floor is dirty)
  • and lots of gift cards

So, yeah.  I feel like being in my mid-30s and single is totally cool.  But I kind of wish I had all that nice stuff all the new brides get.  I feel like I need it.  The easy bake oven is getting kind of old.  I feel like I’ve outgrown it.

Let me know if you want to host a True Love Waits shower for me.  Because true love waits… just not on nice kitchen stuff.